Experiences of a church in Maine

(This is a shortened version of the main essay in the book "A Small Group Ministry Resource Book" by Rev. Calvin O. Dame, Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Augusta, Maine)

In April of 1999, our congregation launched a Small Group Ministry Program which has changed in significant ways the life of our congregation. More than half of our adult members are now in small groups. Many have been meeting for a year and a half, and most meet through the summer. Our Small Group Ministry brochure carries these comments from group members:

•  “Small Group Ministry is the spiritual development group that I've been hoping to find for a long time”
• “SGM has re-connected me to the church community."
•  “SGM has helped me to be excited about Sunday and going to church."
•  "SGM helps me build personal relationships."
• SGM builds a connection to the minister without him having to be actually present - he's reaching out to the congregation;
• Through SGM, we can get to know people whom we otherwise may not have”
• “SGM goes beyond the coffee hour.”
•  “It's fun!”

Our Story

As I write, our membership has grown in real numbers for the first time in years, our most recent canvass came in with a twenty-six percent increase, and our RE Teaching Teams are over subscribed for the coming year at the third week of August.. There is considerable excitement throughout our movement now over the promise which covenant groups hold for revitalizing and growing our congregations and societies.

While I was on Sabbatical at the beginning of 1998, Glenn Turner preached to the UUCC congregation and talked about the promise which a small group model of congregational life might hold for a church community such as ours. That fall, our congregation held its first All Church Retreat at a local YMCA Camp, and the leaders wanted to invite Glenn to come and expand on his ideas.

I was not enthusiastic. I was tired of trying to sell new approaches to church life to the congregation, and I was skeptical of the idea that people would commit to more meeting in their lives. It seemed to me that getting people out to Committee meetings and church functions was already like pulling teeth, so I could not imagine that anyone would make an open ended commitment to come out twice a month for anything.

It turns out I was wrong. I was wrong because I seriously underestimated the hunger in our hearts for real community and spiritual challenge and growth.

In the fall of 1998, Glenn Turner made a persuasive presentation at our All Church Retreat. Two things were particularly useful, one a question and the other an observation.

Resistance To Growth

His first question went right to the nub of a conundrum I feel we have wrestled with for years. On the one hand, if you asked people if they would like the church to grow, they would likely agree that it should grow. But when you really pressed them on it, they would admit that are comfortable in the church now, and if the congregation grew too big, they are afraid that they would lose the sense of community and connection which they value.

Glenn asked, “How many people are there around Augusta who might share our view of religion, and who share the values and goals we have in addressing society’s needs, and who might want to be a part of a spiritual community. Glenn made an observation which has become one of our guiding principles. “People come to our congregations seeking intimacy and spiritual growth. And we give them committee meetings and Sunday morning worship. Neither of these adequately meets those needs.”

Ad Hoc Planning Committee

By the end of the retreat, an Ad Hoc Committee had formed to further explore the Meta Church ideas. The committee included some Board members and a healthy mix of long time members and newer faces. This committee was active for the next six months, meeting at the church every two weeks. Someone would bring pizza, some brought their children, we’d start at 5:30 and be headed home at 7:00.

We set out to imagine how a small group program would work in our congregation, given our enthusiasms for the form and our dreams for our congregation. We wanted to understand the Meta-church model, we wanted to know how it really worked in a local church, and most of all, we wanted to uncover examples of Unitarian Universalist congregations which had successful implemented these ideas. While there are some aspects of Small Group Ministry which are really important, many details should fit the local circumstances.

Models

Additionally, we looked for models within our association. When we began in 1998, there were covenant group models in liberal religious congregations. One model came from the First Parish, in Brewster, Massachusetts which has successfully implemented a church growth program using a wide variety of affinity groups to connect people to each other and to the life of the congregation.

And the All Souls Unitarian Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma has successfully implemented a program based on small groups which focuses on newcomers and is organized around a curriculum. But all in all, we did not find a model that seemed just right for us, and so we gradually created a program that we felt would fit our needs.

A Name

From the beginning, we envisioned our groups as a way that we could better care for one another. People would be connected at a deeper level than is possible Sunday during the Fellowship Hour, and there would be the opportunity to pursue some of the deeper spiritual questions which in our lives we so rarely take time for. But these groups would also form the framework in which we could reach out to one another in caring and support, where we could be present in each others lives in the forms that describe ministry. We arrived at the name Small Group Ministry, and we stuck with it.

Congregational Involvement

During the time that the Small Group Ministry Ad Hoc Planning group met, we pursued two strategies in regards to the congregation. First, we kept our work in front of the community, through articles, Minister’s and President’s Columns in the newsletter and with references, announcements and sermons on Sunday mornings. Every newsletter reported or referred to our work.

Then, we shaped our work to the formal structure of the church. Even though the President and two members of the Board were a part of the Ad Hoc Committee, we reported regularly to the Board We brought an initial and then a final proposal to the Board, asking that the Small Group Ministry Program be formally endorsed by the Board and reporting that action out to the congregation.

All of this resulted in continuous curiosity and conversation within the congregation and with the members of the Ad Hoc Committee, conversation of the kind that we all know is a powerful shaper of opinion and action in any group, but particularly the life of congregations.

We took this part of our planning effort seriously because we believed that we were exploring a program which offered a different paradigm of congregational life, and which held out the prospect of transforming our church. If it was to be successful, we would need to bring as many people as we could along with us.

The Facilitators Role

Small Group Ministry facilitators facilitate the life of the group. They make sure that the group starts and stops on time, or they delegate someone to make sure. They remind people of the next meeting, or delgate someone to do so. they contact group members who miss a meeting to let them know they are missed, or they ask someone to make that call. At the meetings, they read from the Session plan and, if necessary, guide the discussion, or they delegate that responsibility.

There was some apprehension around the role of the facilitators, and we were not sure just what it would entail until our groups had begun to meet. Small Group Ministry is neither therapy nor a course in religion. While the process is of sharing one’s story and concerns in an atmosphere of trust is clearly nurturing and healing, these are not therapy groups, and the facilitators do not need advanced degrees or training. Good commonsense, which is actually pretty common in our congregations, is the strongest qualification.

And while our Small Group Session Plans invite people into conversation on bedrock topics of religion and faith: such as worship, loneliness, loss, idealism, transcendence, sin, prayer, fear, healing, and others, the facilitator does not need to be an expert or an authority. The topics lend themselves to discussion and the sharing of life stories, and the discussion and sharing lends itself to learning. The facilitator guides with a gentle hand, and often does not even lead every meeting.

An additional and vital role of the facilitator is to maintain the connection of the group with the Small Group Ministry Program and the congregation. The facilitators meet with me as a group once a month. We consult on questions which arise from time to time. The facilitators encourage a sense of ministry within their group, keeping people informed of events or concerns, and encouraging expressions of caring. And, with appropriate permission, they alert me to situations where my presence or attention as minister might be needed.

Training Facilitators

The first six small group facilitators were all members of our Ad Hoc Planning Committee, and thus had taken part in the planning and envisioning which had taken place.

Their training started with a single evening. I put up newsprint and asked them what their fears were. We put those on the newsprint, and by the time we finished talking about them, none of them seemed overwhelming. We then discussed a covenant of mutual support and support for the vision of the Small Group Ministry Program. I thought, and events bore me out, that we wouldn’t really know what questions we needed to ask until we began meeting with groups.

Subsequently, leaders have come, for the most past , from within the groups, both identified assistant facilitators and others. I meet with prospective facilitators for two hours, go over the history of our program and the concepts of the covenant groups, share material and answer questions.

But the real training takes place after the new facilitators begin to meet with their groups. I arrange a follow-up conversation, but the most valuable instruction takes place during the monthly Facilitators meeting. I invite a check-in and take items for discussion. But the real work is in the sharing: stories tumble out, people relate exciting or discouraging moments, compare notes on particular Session Plans. The more experienced leaders share tips, and we reflect on what we have learned and what seems to work best.

And at every meeting I remind people that this is a ministry of the congregation, their ministry within the congregation, which has the potential to sustain and transform lives and the life of the church.

Apprentices

In the small group model we adopted, each group has both a facilitator, and a facilitator in training, sometimes called an apprentice. In our initial enthusiasm to get our program off the ground, we failed to apprehend the importance of apprentices in the small group process. Some groups had apprentices, some did not, some had them in name only.

The apprentices are particularly important in two ways. (1) Apprentices can transition smoothly into the role of facilitator when necessary, and (2) Apprentices are important is that they are the key to the expansion of a small group program. New groups require leadership, and the people who understand the promise and the process of Small Group Ministry are the people in the groups. As new people become intrigued and ready to join a group, an apprentice graduates to be the facilitator for a new group, or stays with the existing group while the facilitator pulls a new group together. And it might be that one or two of the existing group goes along with the facilitator or apprentice to the new group just to help form a core of ministry. But we wouldn’t call it splitting a group.

Where Groups Meet

Our small group program was designed for groups to meet in people’s homes. Groups can be geographically oriented for those distant from the church, it doesn’t limit the growth in groups to the available space in the church, and in sharing their homes, people also share important information about their lives. Some groups prefer to use one of the comfortable spaces at the church, particularly in winter and for groups with geographically scattered members. I advise to still meet in homes from time to time, particularly through the summer, so that folks will not forego this way of sharing their lives.

Sessions

The Ad Hoc Planning Committee created a Session format so that gatherings would invite intimacy and allow for serious and engaging conversation on religious and spiritual topics. We were looking for a balance of the personal and the thought provoking. Instructions needed to be easy to use, require a minimum of preparation and,have a form which would become a ritual in itself without being unnecessarily limiting. The Session Plans are simple:

Opening Words: Gather people in, help to settle folks down, serve to remind participants of the special opportunity of the gathering, and often reflect the topic of the evening.

Check-in/Sharing: Each group develops its own customs as to length or responding immediately or waiting until everyone is finished. Groups expand this from time to time when circumstances call for it.

Discussion: A paragraph or two lays out a topic and presents questions which will elicit thoughtful participation and significant reflection. A group may stay with a topic for several weeks, or be done in an evening.

Likes and Wishes: This is a positive format for feedback using a brief go around the room, e.g. “I like how we approached the topic this evening, but I wish we had moved through the sharing a little more quickly” Not every group does this at every meeting.

Closing Words: These bring the formal session to an end. Those who wish to can leave while others may stay to chat.

Each Facilitator receives a loose-leaf notebook with a couple dozen different Session Plans. All the groups work from the topics in the notebooks, although they can take them in whatever order they choose, and can linger several meetings on a particular topic if it pleases them. The Sessions are not a curriculum; they are questions on religious and life issues presented in such a fashion as to elicit sharing, exploration, and growth.

I write the Session Plans, often on topics requested by groups or individuals so that the questions are asked in ways that encourage a deeper sharing. Sometimes individuals wish to write up a topic and in that case we collaborate.

There is unifying effect to the Session format. In groups which are sharing at the level of intimacy elicited through small groups, there is a natural tendency towards disconnection and separation. But when groups work on Session plans which they know others are tackling in other groups, the sense of connection is deepened and strengthened.

People New To The Congregation

It has been members who have been around for a awhile who make up the bulk of the group members. The SGM has actually brought a number of people back to the church.

People who are new move towards participation in a group more slowly, on the whole. It takes people a certain amount of time just to begin to feel oriented in the congregation: getting the children to R.E., what the customs are for worship, who to speak to at Fellowship Hour, what UUs do for Christmas, etc. So, we enclose a brochure on Small Group Ministry in each letter of welcome, Membership committee members mention small groups when they give newcomers a welcoming call. and we speak of small groups at the Board Reception for Newcomers night we hold twice a year.

Growing New Groups

It is easier to “graduate” leaders from a group than it is to split a group. So, I stopped talking about splitting, which made most people nervous. Instead, from time to time a member of a group steps forward to become a leader and form new a group. Then, when a new person fills their space in their first group, that group also grows and changes.

Adding New Members To Groups

Small groups, in Carl George’s Meta-Church Model, are always open. However, as our groups initially bonded, many participants were nervous about the effect of adding new members, or even having visitors to try out a session.

So it was with some trepidation that I first assigned new members to a group. That first group incorporated the newcomer in a pretty seamless fashion. And as the months have gone by, there has been a steady rate of turnover, for one reason or another. Every group has welcomed new members and bid farewell to others. Transitions are easier if people have advance notice and a chance to say goodbye.

People Who Need Extra Care

Every congregation, fellowship, society or group includes people whose needs or personality sometimes make it difficult to be with them. We regularly hold up the fact that we are engaged in ministry. And sometimes that call for extra patience and caring.

Then, I assign people to groups. I consult with facilitators, and people with larger needs are place with leaders and groups who seem ready to reach out. And I stay in touch with the he facilitators to provide support and advice. Because our Small Group Ministry groups work through the sessions, no group can be hijacked by a strong personality or two to wander off on their particular whims or interests.

The Minister’s Role

The participation and support of the minister has been essential to our introduction of Small Group Ministry into the life of the congregation. The Meta-church material that we studied comes from a tradition which is much more hierarchical than most UU congregations. As we considered how the program might work, and what we wanted to accomplish, we discussed the balance of authority and autonomy in the life of our congregation, and the strength and weaknesses of different arrangements.