Why do we come together?

Here is the sermon given at TUC on April 30, 2006 by Ms. Dori Davenport, Religious Education and Congregational Growth Consultant of the UUA’s Central Midwest District.

Recall our opening words… “at times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another.” For me, those words speak to the very heart – the deepest place - of religious community.

Why do we come together? Why are there millions of people across our country who are gathered together right now in churches, synagogues, temples…? They are there to be in community…

We Unitarian Universalists gather to be with people who care about us, who share our values and who share our desire to make the world a better place to live. Our UU faith communities have meant many things to me in my life – and probably to yours, too. I have found solace and comfort during sad (sometimes desolate) times in my life; I have found inspiration to grow emotionally and spiritually; I have celebrated joys and wonderful milestones; I have been challenged to live out my religious values and to take a stand, publicly, when I observe those values being violated. I’ve received strength from my Unitarian Universalist faith to live my life more fully and with more meaning. UUs have a message that the world needs Because of all this, I desperately want our Unitarian Universalist faith to grow… to grow, not just in numbers, but in depth and strength. We have a message for the world – a message that the world needs, and ~~~ a message that our next door neighbors need. And, while I would love to talk about our message and the importance of proselytizing, I’m really here, today, to talk about the meaning of community and connection.

Many of us who are baby boomers or older came to Unitarian Universalism from another faith tradition. Over the years, many people have told me they were seeking to escape some aspect of a “more traditional” church and that they found a haven – a sanctuary – in their UU congregation. More recently, (increasingly) I hear from visitors to our churches that they don’t have a strong religious background, and are seeking a faith community to help them explore spirituality and religious identity.

So we have differing motivations for coming to church… And once we are here, we need to find ways to be together. Whenever groups of people come together, our differences begin to emerge.

Individualism and building a community And because individualism is such a celebrated feature of our wider culture, we sometimes find that individualism gets in the way of building community.

A former District Services Director -- a former boss, Peter Morales -- once gave a homily for all of us gathered at a district staff meeting. In it, he used the metaphor of a life raft - what would you leave behind and what would you take on a life raft if you needed to save Unitarian Universalism. One of the things he said he would leave behind is the rampant individualism he has observed in our congregations. Peter said that he has observed such fierce individualism that it paralyzed a congregation; rendered it unable to function in a healthy manner, because no action could be taken without a congregational vote – and the subsequent bickering - on virtually everything. Another aspect of this individualism is the diminishment of our potential to be a voice for positive change in the world. When someone stands up to say, “if this church takes a public stand on ______, I will leave,” she or he does not have a true understanding of what it means to be a member of a faith community.

In a similar vein, I have often observed UUs who made assumptions that everyone sitting in church was of the same political persuasion, and they’ve made bad jokes or offensive remarks about those with differing political viewpoints.

Rampant individualism and putting down someone’s politics are not successful methods for building a strong faith community.

Now, I’m not saying that individualism is bad, or that we can’t speak out on our political views – what I’m saying is that we need to think about how we express ourselves, if we want to create a loving, respectful religious community. Being a member of any community carries with it responsibilities. Just as freedom and responsibility go hand in hand, so too do community and responsibility…the responsibility to be careful and kind in our interactions and communications, and to recognize that sometimes our personal desires may not be as important as the community’s needs.

“Belonging: The Meaning of Membership” In this report from the Unitarian Universalist Association’s Commission on Appraisal, there are numerous references to the importance of building strong religious community. (some background…the C-O-A is a group within our Assn. that is given an important theme to research and report on every 4-6 years. This report was published in 2001, following extensive study of and interviews with UUs from around the country.) This report is called “Belonging: The Meaning of Membership,” and it’s a great book – I find inspiration in it every time I open it.

The first chapter of the report is called “The Process of Commitment.” It describes various aspects of how people become committed to a congregation – one aspect has to do with disillusionment. They quote Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a great theologian, from his book on Christian Fellowship, called Life Together. “Only that fellowship which faces such Disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God’s sight; begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it. The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community, the better for both.”

A commitment to building real religious community together is one of the significant meanings of church membership. How we react to our first disappointment is an indicator and a test of our commitment. I know from personal experience – you’ve probably all had a chance to learn this in your lives – that it is usually always easier to walk away from a difficult situation than to stay at the table, to stay engaged and to make a commitment to see a difficult process through to a resolution. For me, it helps to remember that adversity is an aspect of every process of growth. Lifelong growth and learning… For me, this is one of the biggest treasures of Unitarian Universalism. Embracing spiritual growth, with all its implications, is an ongoing process, and sometimes a struggle – but it enriches my life immeasurably.

Membership in a UU religious community can be a profound experience – one that brings us into covenant with other people…people with diverse backgrounds and needs…all seeking wholeness. In the report, they say, “The experience of membership offers to individuals the opportunity to become more whole, more committed to each other, and to that which is of ultimate worth, more grounded, more profoundly human and more aware of the gift of community.”

The gift of community – of religious community……this gift is precious and deserves our devotion and dedication – especially if we are to pass it on to those who are yet to come…so they can be beneficiaries, just as we are, of this gift that has been created and sustained - by our predecessors.

HYMN – We Laugh, We Cry

Our separate fires will kindle one flame In the first hymn, there was a phrase, “Our separate fires will kindle one flame,” and in the hymn we just sang, there is a repeating phrase, “We have found a need – a time – a place – and a joy – being together.” These reasons for being together, and the “one flame” we kindle, offer a path to another aspect of Unitarian Universalist community that I’d like to explore…the idea of connections with other UU congregations to create an even more powerful and creative force for making the world a better place.

And since I am fresh off of our Annual District Assembly, which was last weekend, I am still high on the vision of what we might achieve if we join together with other UU and other liberal religious congregations. Our keynote speaker was Rabbi Michael Lerner, a co-founder with Cornel West and Sister Joan Chittister, of the TIKKUN community and Journal. Rabbi Lerner spoke passionately and convincingly of the need of all Americans for a world based more on love than on domination of others. He says, in his new book, The Left Hand of God: Taking Our Country Back from the Religious Right, “The human race needs and yearns for a world in which kindness, generosity, nonviolence, humility, inner & outer peace, love and wonder at the grandeur of creation stand at the center of our political and economic systems and become the major realities of our daily life experience.”

Lerner refers often to a huge group of Americans who identify themselves as “spiritual but not religious.” He believes that if we can create a network and system for connecting these non-religious people with liberal, progressive religious people, we can have an impact on – not just politics – but on the entire culture and society. What a dream and a vision! It’s certainly one in which I’m willing to take part!

The potential to change the world Let’s back up a little… My message today is not about how we can change the world, but about how we Unitarian Universalists can be more connected to each other. There are many benefits to having our congregations working together, including the potential to change the world.

A part of our Central Midwest District’s mission statement includes a goal of connecting congregations to each other. These connections can bring strength, vitality and vibrancy – all of which will help us to grow, spiritually and numerically – individually and collectively.

It’s no accident that this goal is part of our district’s mission and purpose. It’s been very interesting to observe, during my 8 years in this job, how inwardly-focused many of our district’s congregations are. I’ve discovered that, just as each congregation has its own personality and culture, so too do the 20 districts across our country. For example, in our westernmost districts along the Pacific Ocean, there is a deep connection that exists between congregations, and most of the Unitarian Universalists in those districts feel a sense of identity with their district. As I’ve traveled around the country, I’ve often heard lay people introduce themselves as “from the Pacific Northwest or Pacific Southwest District,” and then the name of their church. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone here introduce themselves by saying “I’m from the Central Midwest District and Third Unitarian Church.” In fact, when I’ve heard our CMwD folks introduce themselves at General Assembly, they often say, “I’m from ____ church – I don’t know what district it’s in,” or “Am I in a district?” At the district-sponsored leadership workshops we’ve held, someone always says to me, “I never knew that we were part of a district - how great to know there is a way to connect with other Unitarian Universalists.”

There are several theories about why this is so here in our five-state Central Midwest District…one of them has to do with our history in the Western Unitarian Conference, where separation from the Boston-based Unitarians was key to their formation and identity.

At any rate, I think it’s time for our congregations to create and strengthen bonds with each other, so we can grow and deepen our faith, and make that greater difference in the world.

How to start? Well, right here in the greater Chicago area, religious educators from 5 churches have gotten together to create a Coming of Age program for young teenagers. None of these churches had enough young people to create their own program, so they got together to do this – they also joined together to offer the UU sexuality education program – Our Whole Lives, or OWL - for this age group two years ago. By all reports, the programs are highly successful, and I believe this joint experience will have an influence on the lives of these young people as they grow up, fostering a stronger religious identity than if they – and their families - had been allowed to drift away, which is what usually happens in smaller churches.

This kind of joining together to offer religious education programs also has obvious opportunities in the realm of adult religious education. Just within the city of Chicago, there may be 2-3 people from each of the six congregations who would love to explore Unitarian Universalist history, or study of the Bible and world religious traditions. Of course, teenagers and young adults should be invited to these classes, too, for building multigenerational learning communities. Several groups of congregations in metropolitan areas around the country are creating adult RE classes that rotate in their respective churches.

What’s beyond religious education? How about state-wide legislative initiatives? There is currently an effort underway to create an Illinois UU legislative action group; similar structures exist in Wisconsin and other states…California has a particularly strong and successful UU legislative action bureau.

Other opportunities for connection involve board development and membership development. Most of our congregations’ boards want to be effective, with productive, meaningful meetings – through our district board presidents’ e-list, they can share success stories, or things they’ve learned in the process of trying new methods. In the area of membership development, my experiences lead me to believe that most new members are happy to know that there are other UU congregations out there, and they love to feel like they are part of something beyond their own church.

Another way to be part of something larger is to join Chalice Lighters. How many of you are Chalice Lighters in the Central Midwest District? Chalice Lighters is a great, simple program that offers grants to our district congregations for a growth-related program or project. Here’s how it works: Three times a year, churches in our district submit applications for a grant. If you’ve signed up to be a Chalice Lighter, you will get a letter explaining which church’s grant application has been accepted for the fall, winter or spring “Chalice Lighter call.” To sign up to be a Chalice Lighter – which you can do on our district web site – you pledge to send in $20 or more for each call (the minimum requirement is $10 per call). Your relatively small contribution is combined with the almost 900 other Chalice Lighter contributions to create a significant source of funding to support another congregation’s growth efforts. Typical projects include building additions, new staff positions, advertising programs.

Now, I mentioned that we have about 900 Chalice Lighters…with over 12,000 Unitarian Universalists in our district, this is less than 10% of our district population, so we are always trying to get more folks to sign up to be Chalice Lighters…which will help us to help even more congregations grow.

Related to growth, the Chicago area UU churches have gotten together to develop a marketing strategy, with several exciting projects underway. I’m sure Brian is keeping you posted on these activities, since he’s been involved in this. I’m hopeful this initiative will take off…I’ve often wondered why the third largest city in the country, with over 5,000,000 people, has less than 1,000 Unitarian Universalists in the 6 congregations within the city.

I’m sure there are more innovative ways we can explore and build greater connections among our district’s congregations. I’d love to hear from you if you have any ideas!

In closing... In closing, I’d like to refocus on the concept of commitment and responsibility… Most of you have probably read our Unitarian Universalist principles – they are printed in the front of our hymnals, and you have a poster ______________. I’d like to highlight the ending statement following the seven principles and our religious sources… The closing statement reads, Grateful for the religious pluralism which enriches and ennobles our faith, we are inspired to deepen our understanding and expand our vision. As free congregations, we enter into this covenant, promising to one another our mutual trust and support.

There are some powerful concepts in that brief statement… Our religious pluralism DOES enrich and ennoble our faith, when we are open to it; we CAN deepen our understanding and expand our vision / through stronger connections in our own faith communities and with other congregations. And that last sentence…As free congregations, we promise to one another trust and support.

We have lots of room for further development there…I invite you to join with me and the other 80 or so congregations in our Central Midwest District to see what we can do - what we can grow together.